The 7 P’s to Recognizing the Signs of Grooming

Online child predators are continually using unique and clever tactics to get in touch with children and young people. They are also communicating with each other to learn better ways to identify potential victims’ vulnerabilities to create trust with them online through sexual grooming and child grooming behaviors. This is what we call grooming – a systematic process of abuse that can lead to sexual exploitation and child sexual exploitation.

“Predators cast a wide net to find a vulnerable child or young person to groom, it’s not a matter of if your child is contacted by a predator, it’s when,” says CRC’s Founder, Carly Yoost. As parents it is important to not only open up discussion with your children about the dangers of grooming behavior and sexual abuse, but also know the warning signs so you can intercept and end the communication. Recognizing signs of grooming early can prevent grooming from escalating into more serious forms of abuse.

Safe Surfin’s Moe McClanahan shared with us what she saw as an investigator in terms of warning signs to identify your child is being groomed by a sexual predator or groomer.

The 7 P’s of Grooming

Praise (Flattery) 

This can look as innocent as “you are really pretty/handsome I’d love to see more of you.” They will play into the child denying being pretty, acting shy in response and having self-esteem vulnerabilities. This behavior is one of the most common signs of grooming that adults use to build an emotional connection with a young person. 

Many times, when I would work undercover chat investigations, I would receive flattery from sexual predators just seeing my profile picture which was only an image of my eye with a little bit of my bangs. They would ask for more pictures after learning I was only 13-years-old, demonstrating classic grooming tactics.

Precocious Conversation

This is a way for the groomer to feel out the child and see if they are interested in sexual topics. The conversation will start out asking if they have a boyfriend or girlfriend, if they’ve ever kissed and then if they’ve done more sexual activity. If the child reveals personal information about past relationships, then the predator has started the grooming process of gaining their trust. 

The escalation may lead to asking them what the child is wearing, looking to see if the child will be willing to divulge. This inappropriate behavior may lead to conversation about masturbation, sexual contact, or sharing links to pornography or child sexual abuse material – clear warning signs of sexual exploitation.

Photo sharing

As the predator feels out the child’s responses to the above topics they will either first send sexual content to the child to gauge interest in sexual talk or contact. They might ask the child to send naked images of themselves. Most children want reassurance that they are beautiful with and without clothes on to feel better about themselves, not realizing that this manipulative behavior is causing them harm and could lead to sex trafficking or other forms of abuse.

Privacy 

If you see your child is being asked to keep a conversation secret, it should raise a red flag as one of the key signs of grooming. This inappropriate behavior shows the adult knows their actions are wrong. Portions of the conversation may have already been deleted by the time you read it so be aware you may have missed grooming behavior or sharing of images. This warning sign often indicates the person is trying to isolate the child from their support system.

Pressure 

Blackmail threats come in different forms and can lead to what is called sextortion, a serious form of sexual abuse. When a child is asked to send naked images and does, the predator may request more images and threaten to expose the child to family and friends if they don’t send more. Images then lead to videos and/or requirement of sexual acts. Those images and videos are eventually shared on adult sites or sold on the dark web. 

This is considered sextortion and represents one of the most dangerous signs of grooming escalation. Another form of blackmail is when the predator requests money or they will expose the child’s photos on the open web for everyone to see. Many children have committed suicide from these types of threats, making this behavior particularly dangerous for child safety.

Presents 

The predator will try trickery such as sending gifts to win the trust of the child if other grooming tactics are not working. They may send gift cards (even electronic, so monitor their email), clothing, cell phones, or jewelry. 

This special attention through gifts is a classic grooming behaviour used by abusers to make the young adult or child feel special. Be mindful of the packages in the mail and if your child has extra Robux or Vbux on their gaming platforms, as these could be warning signs of suspected abuse.

Pulling away

Another form of grooming is through emotional/verbal abuse from the predator. They will reinforce to the child that they are the only ones who truly understand them and care about them and that the child should be making more time for them if they cared about them too. The predator may even threaten to “break up” or end communication if the child doesn’t give in to their wishes. 

Look for signs in the conversations that the predator is possessive and trying to control the person through emotional manipulation. This behavior often occurs in sexual abuse cases and can be particularly harmful to children in foster care or other vulnerable situations.

Understanding these signs of grooming and recognizing grooming behavior early is crucial for preventing sexual assault and protecting children from becoming victims of child abuse. If you notice any of these warning signs or inappropriate touching, physical contact, or sexual behavior involving a child, it’s important to report suspected abuse immediately. Recent posts and related posts about grooming tactics can help parents stay informed about evolving threats to child safety.